dumpsterfetus:

i love B J Novak

tupacabra:

the forced laughter at a video that a friend shows you because you don’t want them to feel bad

religiousmom:

macaronimessiah:

religiousmom:

The thigh gap between your legs doesn’t matter what’s important is the thigh gap in your heart

hearts don’t have thighs tho

shut the fuck up

patrickandmarcus:

this is riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma

Fake:  It’s “Ku”, not “Klu”

patrickandmarcus:

this is riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma

Fake:  It’s “Ku”, not “Klu”

jakeyelias:

gabrielsbutt:

toburnbright:

Oh, wow. The usual version of wing tattoos where they’re folded up against the shoulder blades doesn’t appeal to me but these… oh yes.

GET ON MY BODY

still really love this.

jakeyelias:

gabrielsbutt:

toburnbright:

Oh, wow. The usual version of wing tattoos where they’re folded up against the shoulder blades doesn’t appeal to me but these… oh yes.

GET ON MY BODY

still really love this.

dumpsterfetus:

imgonnariverdance:

shadowkat104:

kellyjacobsbooks:

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!! NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE… Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911. Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life!  Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/

major signal boost

Reblogging cause this could save someone’s life

“The American Heart Association does not endorse “cough CPR,” a coughing procedure widely publicized on the Internet. The best strategy is to be aware of the early warning signs for heart attack and cardiac arrest and respond to them by calling 9-1-1. If you’re driving alone and you start having severe chest pain or discomfort that starts to spread into your arm and up into your jaw (the scenario presented in the Internet article), pull over and flag down another motorist for help or phone 9-1-1 on your mobile phone.”
http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/More/CardiacArrest/Cough-CPR_UCM_432380_Article.jsp#mainContent

dumpsterfetus:

imgonnariverdance:

shadowkat104:

kellyjacobsbooks:

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE

Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!!

NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE…

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.

A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.

The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911.

Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life!

Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/

major signal boost

Reblogging cause this could save someone’s life

“The American Heart Association does not endorse “cough CPR,” a coughing procedure widely publicized on the Internet. The best strategy is to be aware of the early warning signs for heart attack and cardiac arrest and respond to them by calling 9-1-1. If you’re driving alone and you start having severe chest pain or discomfort that starts to spread into your arm and up into your jaw (the scenario presented in the Internet article), pull over and flag down another motorist for help or phone 9-1-1 on your mobile phone.”

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/More/CardiacArrest/Cough-CPR_UCM_432380_Article.jsp#mainContent

dungeonsanddamsels:

ktjjj submitted:

once i had a breakdown and cried into my pillow and this happened and i feel like this is an accurate representation of my current mental state

dungeonsanddamsels:

ktjjj submitted:

once i had a breakdown and cried into my pillow and this happened and i feel like this is an accurate representation of my current mental state

Minato: Take this.
Naruto: Huh?! I think I’ve seen this before.

karatam:

nightosphering:

postapocalypticfashion:

When Aisha Tyler was selected to be the presenter for the 2012 Ubisoft E3 press conference, she received an unprecedented flood of hate from trolls who complained about the fact that she knew nothing about gaming. Too bad haters didn’t do their homework first, because as it turns out Aisha Tyler knows more about gaming that all of us put together. Her Facebook response was awesome and predictably went viral. In case you missed it, here’s her masterpiece. Haters, take note.
Dear Gamers
I play.
I’ve played since I was a little kid. 
Since I begged my dad to buy me a Nintendo LCD Donkey Kong, Jr.
Since I blew through three weeks’ allowance playing Defender at the laundromat.
Since you were a twinge in the left side of your daddy’s underoos.
I’ve been a gamer since I made friends with a girl in the 5th grade just to get at her Atari.
Since I missed the bus playing Galaga after school.
Since I missed the start of Return of the Jedi playing Tempest in the theater lobby.
You think you know. You don’t know.
I’ve been a gamer since before you could read.
Since I aced midterms after staying up all night playing Evil Tetris.
Since I became dorm champ at Leisure Suit Larry.
Since I double-wielded on Time Crisis 3 at Fuddrucker’s.
I was a voice in not one, but two major video game titles.
I hosted the Reach Beta tutorial.
I was a Gears of War superfan panelist at ComicCon.
I hosted the Ubisoft presser at E3 2012.
I didn’t do any of it for the money. 
For most I got paid next to nothing, and for some, less than that.
I did it because I love video games.
Because I’ve dreamt since I was a kid of being in one of the games I love.
How many games have you done voices for?
How many cons have you repped at?
Your buddy’s Unreal Tournament garage deathmatch doesn’t count.
I go to E3 each year because I love video games.
Because new titles still get me high.
Because I still love getting swag.
Love wearing my gamer pride on my sleeve.
People ask me what console I play.
Motherfucker, ALL of them.
I get invited to E3 because real gamers know I’m a gamer.
I don’t do it for the money.
I have plenty of money.
I don’t do it for the fame.
Fuck fame.
I do it because I love video games.
I don’t give out my gamertag because I don’t want a mess of noob jackholes lining up
to assassinate me on XBL. 
I don’t give a shit what you think about my gamerscore.
I don’t play to prove a point. 
I don’t play to be the best.
I play because I love it.
I play.
I’ve been playing my whole life. 
I’m not ashamed of it.
I don’t apologize for it.
It’s who I am.
To the core.
I’m a gamer.
So to all the haters out there who claim I don’t play;
To the GAF dicks, 
Gamespot trolls, 
To every illiterate racist douchebag on Youtube:
Flame away. Go nuts.
Post every jackass comment your heart desires.
I’ll still be playing when your mom’s kicked you out of her basement
and you have to sell your old-ass console
and get a real job.
For now, I say to you respectfully,
and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,
GFYS.

#distant sound of a mic being dropped

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States

karatam:

nightosphering:

postapocalypticfashion:

When Aisha Tyler was selected to be the presenter for the 2012 Ubisoft E3 press conference, she received an unprecedented flood of hate from trolls who complained about the fact that she knew nothing about gaming. Too bad haters didn’t do their homework first, because as it turns out Aisha Tyler knows more about gaming that all of us put together. Her Facebook response was awesome and predictably went viral. In case you missed it, here’s her masterpiece. Haters, take note.

Dear Gamers

I play.

I’ve played since I was a little kid. 

Since I begged my dad to buy me a Nintendo LCD Donkey Kong, Jr.

Since I blew through three weeks’ allowance playing Defender at the laundromat.

Since you were a twinge in the left side of your daddy’s underoos.

I’ve been a gamer since I made friends with a girl in the 5th grade just to get at her Atari.

Since I missed the bus playing Galaga after school.

Since I missed the start of Return of the Jedi playing Tempest in the theater lobby.

You think you know. You don’t know.

I’ve been a gamer since before you could read.

Since I aced midterms after staying up all night playing Evil Tetris.

Since I became dorm champ at Leisure Suit Larry.

Since I double-wielded on Time Crisis 3 at Fuddrucker’s.

I was a voice in not one, but two major video game titles.

I hosted the Reach Beta tutorial.

I was a Gears of War superfan panelist at ComicCon.

I hosted the Ubisoft presser at E3 2012.

I didn’t do any of it for the money. 

For most I got paid next to nothing, and for some, less than that.

I did it because I love video games.

Because I’ve dreamt since I was a kid of being in one of the games I love.

How many games have you done voices for?

How many cons have you repped at?

Your buddy’s Unreal Tournament garage deathmatch doesn’t count.

I go to E3 each year because I love video games.

Because new titles still get me high.

Because I still love getting swag.

Love wearing my gamer pride on my sleeve.

People ask me what console I play.

Motherfucker, ALL of them.

I get invited to E3 because real gamers know I’m a gamer.

I don’t do it for the money.

I have plenty of money.

I don’t do it for the fame.

Fuck fame.

I do it because I love video games.

I don’t give out my gamertag because I don’t want a mess of noob jackholes lining up

to assassinate me on XBL. 

I don’t give a shit what you think about my gamerscore.

I don’t play to prove a point. 

I don’t play to be the best.

I play because I love it.

I play.

I’ve been playing my whole life. 

I’m not ashamed of it.

I don’t apologize for it.

It’s who I am.

To the core.

I’m a gamer.

So to all the haters out there who claim I don’t play;

To the GAF dicks, 

Gamespot trolls, 

To every illiterate racist douchebag on Youtube:

Flame away. Go nuts.

Post every jackass comment your heart desires.

I’ll still be playing when your mom’s kicked you out of her basement

and you have to sell your old-ass console

and get a real job.

For now, I say to you respectfully,

and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,

GFYS.

#distant sound of a mic being dropped

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States

”where do you wanna go to dinner?”

”i don’t care”

”ok”

image

thorilyhammered:

siffy:

I have this headcanon where Steve’s son is born with his original health maladies and wants to grow up to be just like his dad - and Steve is confronted with all these feelings of inadequacy as a father because he realizes his son can’t grow up to be like him. But no kid will probably ever be better protected from bullies, considering who all his uncles are. It’s probably just a matter of time before Uncle Tony builds him some really sweet replacement braces (“Should they have spinning rims? I feel like they should have spinning rims.”)

#THIS IS WHAT TRUE PAIN FEELS LIKE

thorilyhammered:

siffy:

I have this headcanon where Steve’s son is born with his original health maladies and wants to grow up to be just like his dad - and Steve is confronted with all these feelings of inadequacy as a father because he realizes his son can’t grow up to be like him. But no kid will probably ever be better protected from bullies, considering who all his uncles are. It’s probably just a matter of time before Uncle Tony builds him some really sweet replacement braces (“Should they have spinning rims? I feel like they should have spinning rims.”)

Democrats —> Democracy

Republicans —> Republic Demagoguery